


Look At Me

by jacindie



Category: Marvel
Genre: Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky barnes x reader - Freeform, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, James Buchanan Barnes - Freeform, Marvel Universe, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 17:43:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4272234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacindie/pseuds/jacindie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(One shot) You've been assigned to help Bucky adjust to the modern world, with no where to go, you let him stay at your place. Struggling with his PTSD and frequent episodes, he's close to giving up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Look At Me

**Author's Note:**

> yoyo you can check this out on my quotev too if you want: http://www.quotev.com/jacindie

He was sitting on the floor, next to the top corner of the bed, eyes full of guilt and fear. I hurt her again. He thought. Monster. Monster. Monster. He repeated in his head. Bucky had had another one of his episodes, and he hurt you again. "Why can't I just get over this?" He said to himself, but not soft enough for you to hear him from across the room.

You stood at the door, with a cup of warm tea in your hands. This had become a regular routine for the two of you, once he would calm down, you'd bring him a cup of tea and leave him alone. But not this time, you've watched him suffer for too long. You know that he doesn't need your pity but you deeply care for him, and he deeply cares for you too, which is exactly the problem. His overwhelming need of always wanting to protect you had taken over, and according to Bucky, the only way to protect you is that if he stayed away.

Slowly, you walk up to him, as if you were about to approach a wounded deer in the woods. You set the cup of tea on the nightstand and kneel down, studying his facial features and noticing all the little things. You could see right through him. Gently, you bring your hand up to the hair covering his face, he flinched a little, but you didn't care, because the thought of Bucky attacking you again felt completely impossible. You tuck a few pieces of hair behind his ear and study his face once again before calling out to him. "Bucky." You said gently, no response; he was stuck in his thoughts. Attempt two; "Bucky." You repeated, this time a little bit louder. Again, no response, he continued to stare blankly at the wall in front of him. What is she doing? He thought, not daring to look at her. Everything inside his head was telling him to get up and leave, but he couldn't, and the fact that he was frozen scared him.

Third time's the charm. You thought, before calling his name again. "Bucky." As expected, he didn't say anything. You were starting to become frustrated, you felt bad for feeling it, but you couldn't help it. "Bucky, look at me." You said, again, no response. Your brows furrow and your nose scrunches up a little, hoping that he didn't see the face you just made at him. Shit. Bucky thought, I pissed her off. I hurt her again. Bucky started to overthink, thinking about how you must feel about him.

"Bucky, look at me." You demanded, with a slightly assertive tone in your voice, he finally looked at you. Your face immediately softened the moment you starred into his eyes, you saw everything; the pain, the guilt and empathy rushed over you like a giant wave. Bucky didn't say anything, he was much too mesmerised at how beautiful you looked up close, thinking how could she look at me and not see me as a monster, the only sound that filled the room was the buzzing of the air conditioner, and it was getting a tad bit awkward, until you brought your fingers to his left shoulder, tracing down his metal arm so agonisingly slowly that he gasped a little when your touch left him. The tension between the two of you was unbelievable, you and Bucky could practically hear each other's heartbeat.

"Can you take off your shirt?" You ask him as you stand up, Bucky looked at you once again, with a confused expression on his face. "Please." You said. If you say so. He thought, he would do anything for you at this point. He stood up and slowly removed his shirt, scrunching it up in his metal hand. You eyed him up and down, and a blush started to creep over his face. Bucky looked away, he didn't want you to see him like this, you notice this. A smile appeared on your face, "You're adorable." You whisper, his blush turned darker.

You moved your eyes to where his arm is attached, and as you did he eyed your neck, hating himself for giving you such marks and nearly choking you to death in the process. You stepped closer to him. Too close... Too close... Too dangerous for her... Bucky thought. He was about to step back when suddenly, soft lips pressed against the skin that connected to the metal. His eyes widen, and then as a protective reflex, he brought his hands to your shoulders. He wanted to push you away, but a part of him wanted you to come closer, closer. He thought.

"It'll be alright, okay?" You started as you put your hands on his chest. "Because I'm never going to leave you, Bucky, I promise." You continued, the look on his face softened, and you felt so relieved that he was at least a bit comfortable with the situation. 'Til the end of the line. Bucky thought. Then, without thinking he pressed his lips against yours, you without hesitation returned the kiss. You both pulled away, it was short and simple but it felt like ages. Bucky finally felt safe, this time, he really knew that someone was there for him. He opened his mouth to speak;

"Good, because I love the way you look at me."


End file.
